2019, Off Topic, personal, Uncategorized

10 years on…

Ten years ago tomorrow my life changed…some of you may sigh and call me dramatic but life really did change the minute we found out Stephen Gately had died.

I still to this day feel fortunate to have been at Emma’s I can’t imagine how I would have felt if I was alone. It’s funny as we had seen Ronan on a TV show about the Carpenters and then I stayed at Emma’s, we’d had a nice meal out with her family and gone to sleep like any other time.

To then be woken at 3am to Emma’s sister giving us the earth shattering news. Neither of us wanted to believe it, imagining it to be a sick joke. We’d both turned our phones off but when we powered them up we both had hundreds of messages from mutual friends, my family and school friends that neither of us had spoken to in years.

In speaking to loved ones and on Emma putting the TV on our fears case true.

Early that year we’d made comments on not understanding it when Michael Jackson died but when Steo passed it hit us like a train. I’d been a massive Boyzone fan since I was small and all I’d wanted was to meet them. I had met all of them bar Mikey during their solo time but when they reunited in 2007 I was given that chance to go all round the country seeing them and making friends.

That child I was would never have believed how lucky I was….Boyzone will always be a five piece and they will always mean the world to me. They let me escape when I needed to and their music always lifts my mood. Steo lives on in the music and he’s never forgotten.

This is still one of my most treasured photos

Grief is a funny thing that effects us all. I’ve changed so much since 2009 but that raw emotion is still there. It’s not always tears but it’s definitely there.

2018, Blogtober, Uncategorized

World Mental Health day and remembering a beautiful soul.

Today is World Mental Health day but for the Boyzone army it’s another year without the beautiful soul of Mr Stephen Gately.

I remember that middle of the night, early hours of the morning when my besties sister came in to break the earth shattering news to us. I was half asleep and in full on denial, we had both charged our phones and turned them off – yup they were off lol. In turning them on we both had millions of messages. I was hearing from school friends who I hadn’t spoken to in years. Emma went and put BBC on and the news we hoped was a terrible hoax was in fact a devastating reality. I was so glad I was with my friend so we could be there for each other, I don’t think my eyes have ever been that sore.

Now 9 years on and that pain is most definitely still there. I love my Boyzone girlies and I would like to say they are friends for life – well I hope so anyway. I truly love that the Boyz have continued to honour Stephen and saying goodbye to the band that’s truly had my heart since I was a child just after my 35th birthday will be hard, but I know they will give us the best memories to treasure.

Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.

In regards to Mental Health I would like to say I always have an ear for anyone who needs it. Don’t suffer alone. I shared my personal story of how I’ve changed my life. There’s a number of things that effect our mental health and well being. I urge you to do at least one thing for you today….and then please let me know what you’ve chosen to do in the comments box.

I’m off to the theatre later this evening, I hope Stephen keeps the weather dry for me at the globe.


Memories that last a lifetime….

I have been thinking about this post all day….in my subconscious alongside my manic work day. 

It’s been eight years since the beautiful Stephen Gately left this earth as Keith Duffy said eight years an angel and to me that’s the perfect description of him. 

Today I got up put on a red top (in his honour) and got on with my day. Listening to Magic I found myself laughing and crying – what really makes me smile is how social media changes all the gorgeous pictures come up and we remember.

This is a picture that I longed for from a small age and it still makes me remember every single second of how it came to be.

Thank you Stephen for being you. Boyzone have been a huge part of my life. When I was bullied and when I suffered hard times their music, the concerts and the friends I made along the way helped me more than he will ever know. 

This Summer this happened….


I’m totally in love with it but there’s only one thing missing and that’s Steo. 

I couldn’t let today pass without mentioning Steo. He’s always in my thoughts….